“Hello, I am the Doctor. I am writing to report on the condition of the patient, Euro Freddie. The patient is suffering from an acute case of cycling ennui, brought on by a paranoid and delusional psychosis, attached to a certain Asian bicycle parts’ Tour de France victory. The symptoms have been in evidence for some time now, as the patient’s case history reveals indicators as far back as his first column in the Eagle’s Club Newsletter. The patient is currently undergoing treatment off the shores of Spain, on the restful island of Majorca. I want to stress that he is under the best possible care, with the strictest supervision, by the finest professionals in the medical and psychiatric fields. The prognosis is simple. The patient must be brought back to a healthy state of being. This we must facilitate in a two-prong approach. First, we must make the body healthy. We do this by providing a highly engineered diet of lychee nut flavored Powerbars. Then, we must make the mind healthy. Here again, the answer is simple... Lots of rest, and we go fishing every day. I expect the patient will master the casting rod quite soon. Sincerely, Dr. Sh(censored)o. Have a New Day.”
(The Editor wishes to express that there is no, and never will be, any relationship between Dr. Sh(censored)o, and the Eagle’s own Dr. J... Physically real, imaginary, or otherwise. The Editor would also like to point out that he has no problem, per se, with a lychee nut flavored Powerbar recipe in Dr. J’s column, that is, just as long as he wouldn’t have to eat it. And finally, the Editor would like to express his ambivalence towards the whole Campy/Sh(censored)o thing. I mean, BIG WOOP, it sounds about as deep as Ford vs. Chevy.)